Divorce coach Lisa Gabardi, PhD, uses this exercise to help her patients acknowledge the here and now.

1. Notice when you’re obsessing, lost in a rage, swamped with sorrow, or in a fear loop.

2. Close your eyes and take a deep breath, bringing your awareness back to the present moment.

3. Focus on elements in your environment to ground yourself. Touch your fingertips together; feel your feet on the solid ground beneath you and the cool air inside your nostrils as you inhale—the promise of the new path ahead; feel warm air exit as you exhale, and with it, breathe out lingering negativity or toxicity.

4. Say to yourself, “I believe in my inner strength and natural capacity to heal. I will get through this difficult time. In this moment, I am safe.”

5. Respond, “I am all right, here and now.”

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